DEAR ABBY: I cannot stand it when people drop in unannounced! My mother is the biggest offender. If our door isn't locked, she walks right in without knocking. My husband and I work hard all week and look forward to peace and quiet on weekends. It's disruptive when she "pops in" -- and she often stays for hours.
How can I tell her to call us before coming over? We have tried not answering the door, and even throwing on our coats like we were just leaving so she'll leave. I am so angry I can't even begin to think of a polite way to tell her to stop. -- SICK OF IT IN EAU CLAIRE, WIS.
DEAR SICK OF IT: I don't blame you for being angry, but you are placing the blame where it doesn't belong. Your mother isn't to blame for this situation -- you are.
Your mother may have no idea that you're so angry at her that you're ready to explode. Say something to her before you do. Tell your mother politely that you and your husband work hard all week and are not always prepared to entertain her on weekends. Explain that you and your husband would appreciate it if she called and arranged her visits in advance rather then dropping over. Then, if she persists, find the backbone to inform her that her visit is not convenient. Until you have the courage to act like an adult, she will continue to treat you like a child.