DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of two. I recently learned that my 16-year-old daughter, "Rene," is pregnant. When she told me who the father is, I discovered she had been having an affair with my live-in boyfriend, "Leo." It was devastating. I am engaged to marry Leo, and I still love him.
I made Rene move out. I know this seems harsh because she is pregnant, but I feel I can have a good relationship with Leo only if Rene is not around. I don't mean to choose him over her, but Rene is my daughter, and she should have known better.
What do you think I should do? I don't want to disown her. Also, I want to raise Rene's baby as my own, and this infuriates her. Who is wrong? Please give me your insight. -- CONFUSED IN CANADA
DEAR CONFUSED: Please reorganize your priorities. Your duty is to protect your children. Leo is an adult. Your daughter is only 16. Leo has far more experience. Your fiance is a predator who may have pursued you in order to get close to your daughter. You say you have two children. Is the other child a daughter too?
It's time to show your fiance the door and call the police. Rene should stay with you until she's able to complete her education and care for herself and her baby. And Leo should help to financially support the child until it is an adult.
DEAR ABBY: My husband talks constantly. He can't sit through a movie or watch a television show without piping up. He has "loads of information" on every subject.
If we are out in public and someone speaks, my husband goes into high gear. When we go to his office -- he is a truck driver -- the office personnel scatter. They dread to see him coming.
I can't speak to him in confidence about personal things, or finances, and trust that he won't repeat everything he knows. I don't know how to stop him. He seems oblivious. It has become an embarrassment to be out with him. I find myself trying to avoid him at home.
Please help me. I love my husband. -- REALLY DOWN IN T-TOWN
DEAR REALLY DOWN: Your husband may be a compulsive talker. He could be trying to compensate for insecurity or have an emotional problem. Since you can't get through, your next step is to get him professional help. It's sad that someone who probably only wants to be liked and accepted is driving those around him away, and it may take counseling for your husband to recognize what he's doing.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is getting on my nerves. She tells me what to do, and if I disagree, she always says: "I win, you lose. I'm big, you're little. I'm right, you're wrong -- and there's nothing you can do about it."
I want to tell her that this is really frustrating me and I want her to stop, but I don't know how. -- UPSET FRIEND IN IOWA
DEAR UPSET: It appears you have made friends with the neighborhood bully. The next time she goes into her song and dance, say: "Excuse me! You may be big, but I'm small and mighty. You're NOT right, and there's plenty I can do about it. I can stop being your friend unless you learn how to compromise." And if she doesn't change her ways, do exactly that -- because the person you have described doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.
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