DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Ronald" for three years. He says he loves me. Ron is still married, but swears it's only so he can keep his wife on his health insurance as he'd promised her. However, they talk every day "as friends" and have a daughter and grandchildren in common.
Ron comes here (to another state) to visit me often, but I have never met his daughter or grandchildren, and he feels no urgency to introduce us. Ron has met my entire family.
I feel that he is leading two lives and is happy in both worlds. I, on the other hand, feel rejected and that he's ashamed of me and our relationship. I feel left out, on the outside looking in. Any suggestions? -- NEEDS VALIDATION IN OREGON
DEAR NEEDS: You have analyzed your situation very well. You ARE on the outside looking in. Whether or not your boyfriend and his wife still dwell under the same roof, they are legally married, and he is providing for her nicely. By staying married to his wife, he has assured that if anything happens to him she will be provided for. Since you have asked for a suggestion, I suggest you take your cues from what Ronald does rather than what he says, and find yourself a boyfriend who is eligible.