DEAR ABBY: My co-worker's 20-year-old son recently committed suicide. His mother was a single parent and the young man had long-standing emotional problems.
We are a department of about 20, and all her co-workers felt heartsick for her. All of us contributed toward the funeral spray.
When the funeral arrangements were finalized, the information was e-mailed to only about half of us. The rest -- including me -- were not invited. On the day of the funeral, the "invitees" came to work dressed in dark suits. It was very awkward.
While it is true that a grieving mother is justified in doing whatever makes her comfortable, I feel my feelings were not considered at all. I am deeply hurt that my gesture of sympathy was unappreciated. -- SLIGHTED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR SLIGHTED: Get over it. Your co-worker lost her child. You seem to feel that because you weren't invited to the funeral you somehow lost face. A funeral is not a party. It's also not a social gathering. Your grieving co-worker wanted those people to whom she felt closest around her when she buried her son. She does not deserve to be criticized for it.