DEAR ABBY: I am dating a widower, "Charles," whom I really like except that he doesn't shut up about his "perfect" and "saintly" late, great wife. It grates on my nerves. I mean, what am I -- chopped liver?!
I tried matching him story-for-story about my late husband so he'd get the hint. It only made him rave about her more.
My widowed friends say they've encountered the same problem. If these guys think their wives were the best there is, why do they bother dating?
Charles tells me other women he's dated bore him. I can't believe it's not the other way around. Maybe he has to keep dating to find a new audience.
I don't understand why Charles keeps one foot in the grave with his wife while he's still alive. Is he depressed? Or just dumb? -- BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND
DEAR BOTH FEET: Perhaps he talks about his late wife because they shared so many years and events together that his major memories are bound up with her.
Instead of being resentful, speak up! Tell him it's time to stop dwelling on the past and to focus on the present. Work on creating new, happy memories with him. Take pictures, take trips, host a party together. Get a theater subscription, tickets to sporting events, etc., so his memory bank will spill over with recent happy memories with you. I can't think of a better investment.