DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old nursing major at a Christian college. I live off campus.
Someday I would like to be married, but I am really particular. I've been trying to get to know people and wouldn't consider myself shy, although I do worry I will never meet "Mr. Right."
There have been a few good prospects, but I see them only in passing when I am on campus for classes.
Abby, what's the best way to show interest in a guy without scaring him away? Are there any creative, nonthreatening kosher ways to spark their interest in me, as well?
I'm afraid I will not be able to catch the person of my dreams. -- LOOKING FOR MR. RIGHT
DEAR LOOKING: Just be yourself. And if you're smart, you'll invent excuses to spend more time on campus. Join the staff of the school newspaper, study in the library, work out at the school gym, get a part-time job on campus. It will give you a reason to interact with eligible "fellow" students.
(And by the way, another technique for getting to know someone is to ask if you can study together before an exam.)
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Andy," is a Marine. When he was fighting in Iraq, he sent me e-mails saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to be with me.
When Andy came home, he was a completely different person!
We got pregnant soon after, and he seemed OK with it at first. Then he was sent back to Iraq. He started fighting with me long-distance and telling me to get an abortion, but he said he still loved me.
About two months ago, he stopped telling me he loves me. He never talks about our baby that's due soon. He has never helped financially.
Andy is now back from Iraq, and he says he loves me but has "a lot to work out." He's so distant now. What should I do? Please help. -- IN LOVE AND HURTING
DEAR HURTING: You both need help. Your boyfriend may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. Fortunately, there is help for it through the Veterans Administration. Please urge him to get it now before it affects his future -- and yours and the baby's.
Until Andy is emotionally stronger, you will have to find support from friends and family. I wish you both luck.
DEAR ABBY: I live in a town that is large enough that everyone does not know everyone else, but small enough that jobs are not easy to come by.
My niece is a lovely, moral girl. She works in the photo department of a drugstore, where one of her duties is to monitor the one-hour photo machine. Recently she developed some photos of a young female customer that were frankly pornographic. Is this legal? -- CONCERNED AUNT IN SMALLTOWN, USA
DEAR CONCERNED: A judge once said it may not be easy to define pornography, but he knew it when he saw it. Unfortunately, there's quite a stretch between what's tasteful and what's legal. Because what is pornographic and what is acceptable may have to do with community standards and can vary from place to place, perhaps the person to answer that question would be your chief of police.
P.S. If the customer is underage, the police should be notified anyway.
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