DEAR ABBY: I'm a 41-year-old woman who has been having a nine-year affair with "Anthony," a married man. I am also married, but I have been separated from my husband and two sons for four years.
When I tried to encourage Anthony to get a divorce to be with me, he asked me to wait until his children graduated from high school. After they got their diplomas, he begged me to "wait a little longer" until they graduated from college. Well, you guessed it. His three children are all college graduates and on their own. Now Anthony says he "can't" get a divorce because his wife will get everything and he'll be ruined!
Abby, Anthony owns his own business. He had it before he married his wife. His wife is a professional with a pension that they could split 50/50. (I'll admit I haven't divorced my husband because I need health insurance, and I don't want to lose out on his pension if Anthony doesn't leave his wife and marry me.)
I have dated other men, married and single, to make Anthony jealous enough to leave his wife. It hasn't worked. I can't understand why his wife doesn't leave HIM. What do you think is going on here? -- NEEDS TO MOVE ON IN SCRANTON, PA.
DEAR NEEDS: What's important is what's NOT going on here. You have willingly been played for a fool. Anthony has no intention of ever leaving his wife. Not only is she a tough cookie, she's a smart one. Wake up and smell the coffee. She has the title and the assets, and you'll always be playing second fiddle.