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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Dream Wedding Does Not Include Fiance's Family

DEAR ABBY: I have been widowed for five years. My neighbor, "Matt," lost his second wife three years ago. We are both in our 60s and have been friendly for two years.

Matt seems convinced that every woman who is nice to him has marriage on her mind. I don't want to remarry -- and he knows it -- but it doesn't seem to matter. He has been in my home numerous times, but nothing comes of it. He seems shy, and I know he is lonely, but he doesn't seem interested in an intimate relationship.

Matt is a wonderful man. I know he and I could be closer if he would just open up a little. People need people, Abby. What do you suggest? -- PEOPLE PERSON IN PEORIA

DEAR PEOPLE PERSON: That you ease up and accept your neighbor for the person he is. Matt may not want an intimate relationship -- or he may be unable to have one.

It's also possible he doesn't want to be hurt again. His reasons are his own, and if you pressure him, you may cause the end of a very nice friendship.