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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Dream Wedding Does Not Include Fiance's Family

DEAR ABBY: I am gay and have been dating "Warren" for more than four years. He's wonderful. The problem is, some members of his family strongly oppose his homosexuality and are rude when we visit his parents.

Because of their overt hostility, I no longer wish to attend these family functions. However, I want Warren to continue to go to the gatherings -- without me. Warren disagrees. He says I should continue to go with him, because the more his family sees us together, the more understanding they'll become.

Do you agree? Should I go to Warren's family gatherings, even though it's clear that I am not welcome? -- HELPLESS IN HARTFORD, CONN.

DEAR HELPLESS: Since this treatment has continued for more than four years, it's obvious Warren's family is not receptive to the two of you as a couple. Warren might try speaking to his parents about this problem, if he hasn't already. But if that doesn't change the atmosphere, I see no reason for either of you to subject yourselves to more rudeness or hostility.