DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Kent," and I have been married for seven years, and I'm facing a painful decision. Kent has a drug problem. I didn't know about his addiction until recently, when money started disappearing from our joint account.
Kent admitted to me that he's had a habit since before I met him. However, he doesn't consider it to be a "problem." He made it clear that he has no intention of quitting. And I made it clear that I don't want to be married to someone who's addicted to drugs.
I should probably leave him, but I love him too much -- and we have four precious children who love him, too. My husband rarely shows any signs of drug abuse; that's why I never had a clue until now.
To his credit, Kent is a great husband and father. Please help me decide what to do, Abby. I am against drug use, but I dearly love my husband. -- TORN IN SASKATCHEWAN
DEAR TORN: You already know what you have to do. Until your husband is willing to admit he has a problem, he cannot get the help that's available.
Kent should be encouraged to get into rehab and attend meetings of Narcotics Anonymous where other addicts have found new courage, strength and hope. Call telephone information for the local number.
The N.A. Web site offers meeting (and other) information: www.na.org; the e-mail address is nainfo(at)na.org; or write to N.A., P.O. Box 9999, Van Nuys, CA 91409.
If your husband refuses help, separate your finances from his and get the children away from him before they get the impression that drug use is acceptable.