DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a 15-year-old girl who is in ninth grade. She has been chatting with a man on the Internet for the last 10 months. He said he was a teenager. However, we have recently learned that he is 30-plus, married, and the father of a 4-year-old child. He says he is going to divorce his wife and marry my daughter.
We have tried to make her understand that this relationship won't work. She insists they are both waiting for her to turn 18 so they can be married.
My husband and I are devastated. Can you please make her understand the pros and cons? I'm begging with tears in my eyes. She won't listen to us. -- BROKENHEARTED MOM IN VIRGINIA
DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Pick up the phone and inform the police that your underage daughter is being stalked by an Internet predator. He belongs in jail. And they can help to ensure that he winds up there. Pronto.
DEAR ABBY: I am 20 and used to be an outgoing, smart and attractive female. I planned to attend college, but I put it off because of a tight money situation at home.
After I turned 18, I began to have what I think are panic attacks. I don't sleep well and wake up during the night sweating and shaking. I'm nervous around people, short-tempered, can't make decisions, and I'm paranoid.
A few months ago, I told my mother that I think I need to see a doctor. She acted concerned, but never mentioned it again. I am getting worse every day. Some days I wish I would die. I know this isn't normal. What can I do? Whom do I see? -- BARELY HERE IN INDIANA
DEAR BARELY HERE: Your mother may have assumed that since you didn't mention it again that you were feeling better. It's time to pick up a phone and schedule a consultation with your doctor. You need a thorough physical examination and a psychological assessment. Please don't wait.
If you are not employed or do not have health insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid. Contact your state or county medical assistance office to see if you meet the eligibility requirements.
DEAR ABBY: My 85-year-old husband is a cash cow for charities. For years, he has given away all of his Social Security money to charitable causes. He says, "If I don't give, who will?" He says we "don't really need" the money. Abby, he gives away more than $15,000 a year!
I am 80. My blood pressure is going through the roof. We live on a fixed income, but he thinks since it's "his" money, he can give it away as he sees fit. He seems to be on everyone's list. He spreads the letters out in a semicircle around his chair every day and sends them all $50 checks! Help! -- GOING BROKE IN MARYLAND
DEAR G.B.: Talk to an accountant or a trusted lawyer and explain what's going on. Perhaps if he hears it from a professional, your husband will be more receptive to the message. If that fails, he may need a conservator.
Also, your wills can be written so that whatever is left in your estate after you are both gone will be left to charities.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600