DEAR ABBY: Last year, my 28-year-old, college-educated daughter, "Emma," married "Manny," a wonderful young man. The problem is, her brother (my son "Bruce") hates Manny because he is from a foreign country and not as well-educated as Emma. He feels Emma is wasting her life married to him.
Emma has told me she dated a lot of "well-educated jerks" and feels lucky to have found a wonderful, caring, loving, hard-working man who adores her. She doesn't care that she makes more money than Manny.
I am filled with resentment that Bruce and his family have cut themselves off. Emma and Manny are not welcome at Bruce's home for holiday dinners or family get-togethers. This has hurt my daughter terribly.
Bruce still wants to have a relationship with me, but I am so angry that it's difficult to be civil to him. My son is rigid and judgmental, and it is impossible to reason with him. I don't believe he will ever accept Manny into our family. Any advice? -- ANGRY MOM IN TULSA
DEAR ANGRY MOM: It appears you have raised a son who has the bigotry of Archie Bunker, but with none of the humor or charm.
Bruce cannot banish Emma and Manny from the family unless you and the rest of the family cooperate. My advice is to arrange alternative sites for family gatherings at holiday time and extend an invitation to Bruce and his little family. If they choose not to include themselves, it's THEIR problem. Don't make it yours.