DEAR ABBY: I am 17. Two months ago, I found out that my boyfriend, "Jesse," was cheating. I went berserk. I broke into his house when his parents weren't home and trashed his room. I tore up the cool stuff I had given him and threw it all over the place. I brought along all the gifts he had given me and did the same thing to them.
My problem is, we're back together now and his parents have banned me from their house. They are snobby, uptight people. His dad is a cop. His mom is a teacher. They are very opposite from my family. I know they will make me feel awful if I apologize -- so I haven't.
Jesse feels stuck in the middle, and it's starting to strain our relationship. What should I do? -- TEEN IN QUEENS, NEW YORK
DEAR TEEN IN QUEENS: The first thing you should do is talk to a counselor at school about anger management classes. Face it, honey, you went off the deep end.
By all means, you owe Jesse's family an apology. I recommend you make it quickly. Bear in mind that breaking and entering is a crime. So while you're at it, thank his father for not reporting it and putting you in the legal system. If they see you're contrite and sincere about getting help, perhaps they'll allow you back in their home.
DEAR ABBY: For 10 years, "Amy" and I have been best friends. We both graduated from a two-year community college.
Amy landed a great job in a prestigious firm. I couldn't find a job, so I finally accepted an entry-level position. Amy owns a beautiful townhouse. I rent a studio apartment I can barely afford. Amy is thin, beautiful and lucky. I'm chubby, plain and unlucky. Men gravitate to Amy despite how horribly she treats them. I am kind to men; they ignore me.
When Amy and I go out, I am invisible next to her. She's introduced me to men, but they have eyes only for Amy.
I'm happy for my friend, but I'm also jealous. Many times after we go out, I go home and cry my eyes out. Should I stop going out with Amy socially, but at the same time continue to "be there" for her? People are nicer to the beautiful ones. Sign me ... THE INVISIBLE GIRL
DEAR INVISIBLE GIRL: It's true that people who are good-looking have an initial advantage. But an unpleasant personality can quickly overshadow "beauty."
Since you feel you are constantly in Amy's shadow, limit the time you spend with her to one-on-one "girls only" nights out. It may also be time you widen your social circle so the spotlight can shine on you, and you can be appreciated for your special attributes.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl in eighth grade. My father is deployed and in the Middle East. My mother does nothing all day but sit in the window and watch cars go by. She is very depressed and she makes me depressed. I have tried everything I can think of to lift her spirits, but nothing helps.
Do you have any suggestions on how I can cheer up my mom? -- WORRIED ABOUT MOM
DEAR WORRIED: You are a wonderful daughter, but it shouldn't be your responsibility to cheer up your mother. It's time for you to confide this problem to another trusted adult who knows her.
This is a very stressful time for loved ones of armed forces personnel who are deployed. There are online support groups for military spouses (www.militarywives.com is one of them).
Your mother should also be encouraged by another adult to discuss her lack of motivation and/or depression with her doctor.
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