Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Mom Lets Daughter Down by Urging Her to the Altar

DEAR ABBY: My 27-year-old daughter, "Ruthie," was married a year ago. The night before her wedding, Ruthie came to me and said she didn't think she could go through with it. I told her she was "just a nervous bride," and that we had already paid for everything. Ruthie has always done what we wanted her to do and never gave us an ounce of trouble when she was growing up.

A few months after the wedding, I had a hunch that something was wrong. I asked Ruthie if I had told her it was OK to call off the wedding, would she have gotten married. With tears in her eyes, she told me, "No." The marriage is not going well at all. I know in my heart I let my daughter down. What should I do now? -- SAD MOM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR SAD MOM: Take your daughter by the hand, look her in the eye, and tell her that mothers sometimes make mistakes -- and this was one of them. Then let her know that you'll support her in whatever she wants to do.

Suggest that she consult a lawyer. She may qualify for an annulment.