DEAR ABBY: For more than a year, I have been a live-in caregiver for a sweet 94-year-old lady I'll call Ethel. For the most part, Ethel has enjoyed good health. We have a lot of fun together.
Last week, when we went on our weekly outing to the beauty shop and lunch, I noticed how loud her voice was in the restaurant. She attracted the stares of several diners. Ethel has also begun chewing with her mouth open, completely unaware of how she appears.
I want to let her know that she isn't acting like the well-mannered lady she's been in the past, but I don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings. Please give me some advice on how to broach the subject. There is only one restaurant in our small town, and Ethel dearly loves our weekly meal there. Thanks, Abby. -- EMBARRASSED IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR EMBARRASSED: Tell Ethel what you have observed about her hearing loss and schedule a visit with her doctor. She needs a referral to have her hearing checked. While you're there, mention to the doctor the change in her table manners. Any abrupt change in the behavior of a person is something his or her physician should know about.
Please don't be reticent or embarrassed. You are her caregiver, and it is your obligation to inform her physicians what you observe.