DEAR ABBY: I'm at my wit's end. Five years ago, my daughter, "Julie," moved in with me. Later, her boyfriend, "Rick," moved in and then Julie's adult daughter, "Lisa." (Julie and Rick are now married.) Between them, they give me about $300 for rent each month.
Things were OK until about 18 months ago. Rick's attitude toward me changed and so did Julie's. They have control of my whole house, Abby. Lisa sleeps in a room they set up for her in my attic. Last month, Julie and Rick decided we should have a "family meeting." Lisa was included. (Lisa has a job and contributes about $100 a month for her share of the rent.)
They announced that they will no longer buy food, cleaning or toilet supplies for the house -- just for themselves. They now put their names on everything. I feel like I'm in jail in my own home. I pay the mortgage, the utility bills and the taxes. They pay two-thirds of the water bill.
They moved out once but couldn't make it on their own, and I foolishly allowed them to move back in. Now Rick is the boss of my house and Julie goes along with everything he says. I don't know what to do. I'm considering moving out. It's hurtful that they'd treat me like this. I'm not a youngster -- I'm over 60.
Can you help me? -- EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED IN MARYLAND
DEAR EMOTIONALLY ABANDONED: If your daughter and her husband are putting their names on your house, your car or other property, pick up the phone and call a lawyer. If you don't have one, get a referral from a trusted friend or your local bar association. The lawyer can also explain your rights in your home so that your family can't take advantage of you any longer.
Under no circumstances should you leave your home. If anyone goes, it must be your daughter and her family. You are being emotionally abused.
Once you have talked to your attorney, offer your "family" the option of family counseling. No one should feel like a prisoner in her own home, so please do not tolerate it for one more day.
Let me hear from you when you have followed my advice. I'm concerned about your welfare.