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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife May Exchange Husband Obsessed With Swedish Student

DEAR ABBY: Last year, my husband "Rick," and I were asked to host an exchange student from Sweden. When Rick saw "Inga" for the first time at the airport, he told me he felt an "instant bond." He now wants to help her with all her goals and objectives. Those goals include Inga never returning to Sweden. Rick is talking about letting her live with us while she finishes high school and community college.

Rick spends many hours helping Inga perfect her English and do homework. He takes time off work to take her on day trips to see our local "points of interest." He comes home early from work to watch her compete in swim meets and volleyball.

I am jealous that Rick is giving Inga all this attention because he has never done it for our daughter or me. When I comment about how much time he spends with her, he pouts. One minute he says he wishes he had never met her; the next he's talking about Inga living with us permanently and sponsoring her citizenship. I think he's obsessed with her. What do you think? -- FEELING FORGOTTEN IN FLORIDA

DEAR FEELING FORGOTTEN: I think it's time to call the organization that sent Inga to you, tell them it's not working out, and arrange for her transfer to other lodging. The girl is underage and the situation is explosive. Do it to save your marriage -- and the girl's and your husband's reputations. Then insist on marriage counseling.

P.S. If your husband isn't willing to go along with this, tell him you're going to exchange HIM for a more responsible role model.