DEAR ABBY: For the past 15 years I have been best friends with a man I'll call James. We're both in our mid-20s. I always thought James and I told each other everything. Over the years we've shared some good and not-so-good times. He's been like a brother to me.
Recently, a mutual friend, "Kate," told me that James is gay. I am struggling with this news, because if it's true, I never had a clue. To complicate matters, for the past year I've been falling in love with him.
I need to confront James about his sexual orientation, and I also feel an urgency to tell him how I feel about him. But I don't know how to begin this "truth session." Please help me, Abby. -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN KNOXVILLE
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: Stay calm. Invite James over for coffee and a chat. There is no reason to beat around the bush. Tell him you would like to share some interesting gossip you heard from Kate. Then tell him what she said. Because she said it, doesn't make it true. His reaction will tell you what you need to know.
P.S. If it is true, James is still the same wonderful friend you've always had. Remember that.