DEAR ABBY: I visit my son, daughter-in-law and baby granddaughter a couple of times a year and stay for four or five days each visit. They live 2,000 miles away.
My daughter-in-law's parents live around the corner from them and often "drop by" and visit all day. I like them and would enjoy having dinner with them once. However, the rest of the time, I'd like some privacy to visit one-on-one. My daughter-in-law thinks both our families should completely blend and bond.
My son says I shouldn't expect his in-laws to change their usual lifestyle just because I'm visiting. He thinks my attitude is selfish. I don't think I'm asking too much. How do you think I should handle this? -- SAD GRANDMA IN KENTUCKY
DEAR SAD GRANDMA: I personally don't agree that your wanting some "alone time" with your son, daughter-in-law and grandchild is selfish. After all, her parents have ready access and use it frequently.
That said, since both your son and daughter-in-law are in accord on this, you have little choice in the matter. So accept the package deal gracefully.
P.S. I also think it is insensitive of the in-laws not to realize that you should have some private time to visit.