DEAR ABBY: I am a 56-year-old grandmother who has been married to "Albert" -- my high school sweetheart -- for almost 35 years. Yesterday, Albert e-mailed me some information about a wife-swapping club that meets in our neighborhood. I am beside myself!
Albert is the only man I've ever been with in my entire life, and to learn that he wants to swap me for another woman is devastating.
I have since checked the "history" on my husband's computer, and I have learned that he has spent hours on the Internet researching this topic.
Last week, we made love three days in a row. It pleased me no end -- until I realized what inspired it. Prior to that, Albert and I have never had sex more than once a week in all the years we've been together.
Please help me, Abby. I am ready to pack my bags and leave. Just knowing that he's serious about wife-swapping makes me sick to my stomach. -- DISILLUSIONED IN THE CAROLINAS
DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to be coerced into anything that you feel is immoral. (And spouse-swapping qualifies for that category.)
I don't blame you for being upset, but don't pack your bags yet and don't panic. You and Albert have some serious talking to do, and the sooner the better -- preferably in the presence of a marriage counselor. Albert's craving for variety should be discussed in an environment that is emotionally supportive for both of you. Some couples achieve this through playing out their fantasies together. (Have you seen the yogurt commercial where the wife is dressed up like a French maid?) Good luck ... and please let me know how you resolve this.