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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman in Bankruptcy Worries About Giving Man True Account

DEAR ABBY: I am confused. I have been through four bad marriages and wound up in domestic abuse shelters because all my husbands verbally and physically attacked me.

Six months ago, I met "Mike," and we moved in together. He is very kind, gentle and loving most of the time, but sometimes Mike gets into these moods and makes me feel awful. He'll compare me to his former girlfriends and say I can't do anything right. He also makes fun of the fact that I am seeing a psychiatrist, a therapist and taking medication. He says it proves that I am crazy!

Mike won't get help for himself even though I know he needs it, so I have started sneaking antidepressants in with his daily vitamins. It has made some difference in his mood. I know I shouldn't do it, but I am desperate. Any advice? -- LOOKING FOR TRUE LOVE IN ALABAMA

DEAR LOOKING: Yes. Admit you have drawn five losing cards in a row, and drop out of the romance game for a while. Discuss with your therapist why you are repeatedly attracted to men who are not good for you. And get out now before the abuse escalates again.

Depression is not the problem with abusive people. Abusers use abuse as a method to control their partners.

P.S. It is dangerous to give medications -- particularly mood-altering drugs -- to people for whom they have not been prescribed. Please call a halt to it now.