DEAR ABBY: I am a married 24-year-old with a daughter who just turned 2. My problem is that my mother dislikes my best friend, "Marci," for no reason that I can figure out. Any time I invite Marci to a party, Mom raises a stink.
Because of that, my friendship with Marci has cooled over the past year. We haven't seen much of each other, and I wanted to change that, so I invited her to my daughter's birthday party. I informed Mother ahead of time that Marci would be there -- and warned her not to make a scene.
Mom got back at me by showing up at the party with a six-pack of beer. Abby, she raised me never to have booze at a child's party, and we exchanged words in front of everyone. I ended up cutting the party short because it became such a tense situation -- with Marci on one side of the room and Mom and her six-pack on the other.
I have tried talking to my mother about why she dislikes Marci. She brushes it off with the accusation that I'm choosing my best friend over her.
My mother has a history of bad-news friends who ended up stealing from her or trashing her behind her back. How can I get it through her head that Marci isn't like that? -- STILL FUMING AT MOM IN SOUTHERN IDAHO
DEAR STILL FUMING: Your mother may be competitive with Marci, or she may remind your mother of someone who hurt her in the past. If she hasn't come up with a reason for her aversion, it may be unconscious. That said, you're an adult and entitled to form your own friendships. You and your mother aren't joined at the hip. Enjoy both your mom and Marci on separate occasions.