DEAR ABBY: Last year my husband and I had an "altercation." I pressed charges and he went to jail. Big mistake. I should have kept my mouth shut. (That's what started the fight in the first place -- although it was his fault for assaulting me.)
I called our son in Germany and told him about the incident. Now he refuses to speak to his dad. They were fairly close before -- not now. My son and his wife have a new baby and they want to send me a ticket to visit them this summer. I want to go, but since Hubby and I are working things out with the help of a psychiatrist and our minister, I wouldn't feel right going without him. Should I go or stay home? I love them all and don't want to have to choose between them. -- HALF-PACKED TO GO
DEAR HALF-PACKED: Since you are asking me to choose for you, I recommend that you postpone visiting your son until the psychotherapy and marriage counseling are finished. Explain to your son and his wife that you very much want to visit them and meet your new grandchild, but saving your marriage has to take priority.
I commend your son for wanting to protect you. I hope if there are any more violent incidents that you will have enough self-esteem and conviction to call the police and exit the marriage.