Join the debate. Vote Now on the Dear Abby Poll of the week.

by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Reluctant to Sacrifice Her Friendship With Ex's Mom

DEAR ABBY: I'm proud to say I always enjoyed a close relationship with my former husband's immediate family. Although we are now divorced, I've remained in frequent contact with my ex-mother-in-law.

The problem is I am in a new and serious relationship with another man, and I'm afraid if I tell him I still communicate with my ex's mother, he'll go berserk. I don't want to anger or hurt him, but feel he should know the truth. Above all, I don't want to sacrifice the friendship I have with my ex-mother-in-law. Please tell me how to handle this situation. -- HOUSTON EX

DEAR EX: Disclose to your gentleman friend the fact that you still have a relationship with the woman, and don't apologize for it. If the romance progresses, it will be very difficult to hide it.

Your letter raises a red flag. If a relationship with your former mother-in-law would truly make him "go berserk," how will he handle other things he might not like about you? Please keep your eyes open and make no rash commitments.