DEAR ABBY: Last week, my 6-year-old daughter went to play at a classmate's house for the first time. When she came home, she told me that she and her little friend had seen a naughty video. Then she gave me a description of a couple engaged in an explicit sex act!
When I questioned her further, I was relieved to learn that she hadn't actually watched the video -- she had seen a picture on a video cover that had been left lying around. Even so, I was horrified because I felt a part of my child's innocence had been stolen. I deeply regret that I allowed her to go to her friend's home.
Now I don't know if I should confront the mother. I value our friendship and would not want to alienate her. My husband says to let it go and not allow our daughter to visit that friend's house anymore. They can play here instead. However, I feel strongly that the mother should know about the incident. What do you think, Abby? -- CONCERNED PARENT IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONCERNED PARENT: Both girls are far too young to be exposed to adult entertainment. I agree with your husband that your daughter should not play at the friend's house. However, the mother should know what happened -- so tell her, woman to woman.
DEAR ABBY: I am in the midst of a romance with a wonderful young man I'll call Bob. I'm crazy about him, and we're planning on a future together. His parents are the nicest people in the world.
There is only one problem. They are both chain smokers, and secondhand smoke seriously irritates my lungs. It has made me so sick that I've been bedridden for a week.
Bob understands completely -- he's a nonsmoker -- and has talked to his mother and father at length about my sensitivity to smoke. They claim they're trying to stop and that they will not light up around me. But it's not happening. Every time I see them, they're sitting on the other side of the room with the windows open -- smoking.
Abby, I have tried to be nice about it. I love Bob and I like his folks. I don't want to lose him. What should I do? -- SMOKE-FREE IN THE DEEP SOUTH
DEAR SMOKE-FREE: Your health must come first. If they cannot master their addiction, under no circumstances should you be in a house, car or restaurant with them. If Bob loves you, he'll back you up.
DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and had been going with my boyfriend, "Chris," for only a month when I found out that my family is moving to Arizona at the end of August. When I told Chris, he said he didn't see the point of our relationship if I'm leaving, and he broke up with me.
My problem is I have very strong feelings for Chris, and I'm going to be here all summer. That's a long time. Chris and I still talk and have met casually on different occasions, but he thinks I should concentrate on getting ready to start my "new life" without him. What's your opinion, Abby? -- TEXAS "MISSY"
DEAR "MISSY": Chris may have a point. Maintain a friendship with him, but don't expect an exclusive relationship. Give him marks for being practical and rational. Stay in contact after the move. Who knows where things might lead when you are both older.
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