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by Abigail Van Buren

Expectant Mom Doesn't Expect Much From Father of Her Baby

DEAR ABBY: I am 23, enjoy a good job working for two lawyers, and plan to go back to school. I am also four months pregnant with "Kevin's" baby. In the beginning, he promised he'd support me and the baby and help us every step of the way. Kevin even promised my mother he'd finally get a job.

Well, I constantly have to remind Kevin about the promises he made. He finally admitted that he doesn't want to work -- period. He plans to take side jobs here and there and make money under the table, and says I shouldn't expect to change him. I asked him the other day why he promised he'd help me in the first place. His reply, "You put me on the spot."

With this baby on the way, I need to set goals and move forward. Is there anything I can do to make Kevin understand that he HAS to get a real job? Or should I accept that I'll be playing the parenthood role solo? -- MOM-TO-BE IN PHOENIX

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: It is clear from your letter that unless he is compelled by law, Kevin is going to flake out on his responsibilities, and he will be a poor role model for your baby. You are working for two lawyers. I urge you to discuss with them your options for convincing Kevin to act like a man. They are familiar with Arizona law, and I'm sure they'll be happy to help.