DEAR ABBY: When I read the letter from the faithful wife whose husband called her by another woman's name in his sleep, and who claims that his boss "demands" that he drive a female co-worker to and from work, I had to write.
My husband called me "Stephanie" at the dinner table for four years. He accused me of stealing money from accounts I didn't even know existed or was not a signatory on. He abandoned me for months on end, locking doors and sneaking out of the house. He called me filthy names and told me I was hideous.
At the time, his physician said his behavior was normal.
Three years later, after a divorce, loss of home, friends, status, club memberships and financial assets, my husband is in assisted living -- diagnosed with Alzheimer's and a rare bone cancer.
I miss certain aspects of our marriage. It is lonely being single. But I did not recognize, nor could I have known, what caused the disintegration of his personality. -- ROBERTA IN PALM SPRINGS
DEAR ROBERTA: You have my sympathy, and so does your husband. I advise readers whose family members exhibit a sudden change in personality or behavior to notify their doctors so the person can be physically and neurologically evaluated. However, in your case the physician missed the warning signs.
Yes, being single can sometimes be lonely. But it is better than living with the abuse you described.