DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend recently gave me a beautiful engagement ring. It is custom-designed. I like it, but I also remember a story he told me when we first began dating. He mentioned he'd had a ring designed for an old girlfriend, but she had refused it. Abby, I think this is the same ring! It makes me uncomfortable knowing that the ring he gave me might have been designed with another woman in mind.
Should I ask him about it with the fear he might get defensive? Or should I adopt a "don't ask/don't tell" policy? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN KNOXVILLE
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: Speak up and ask. And if the answer to your question is yes, let him know that you would prefer another setting. An engagement ring is supposed to be a symbol of his love for you -- and you alone.