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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Fears Her Job Depends on Getting Her Bosses Dates

DEAR ABBY: My second husband, "Randy," and I have four children between us -- my two, ages 14 and 15, and his daughter, "Katy," 5, and our son, "Timmy," 2.

Recently, I asked Randy if, for my own personal keepsake, we could have a professional portrait taken of him and the three children I bore. He adamantly refused, saying Katy would feel left out.

We have a fairly recent picture in our family room with Katy in it. Timmy, however, is not in the photo because he has autism and refused to have his picture taken that day.

Randy and I have been arguing over this, and it's making me resentful toward him and my stepdaughter. (Katy doesn't live with us, but visits every other weekend.)

Do you think I am selfish to want a picture with just my husband and MY three children? -- MAD STEPMOM IN BEAUMONT, TEXAS

DEAR MAD STEPMOM: I'm not sure I'd call it selfish. However, it would be enormously insensitive to the feelings of the little girl who lives apart and gets to be with her father and siblings only every other weekend. Look at it from the child's perspective, and you'll see your husband is right.