DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my husband, "Lyle," and my ex, "Charlie." They work together. Lyle and I are newlyweds, and he knows only too well the misery I went through with Charlie. In spite of that, Lyle goes to Charlie's apartment for drinks almost every night after work.
I don't like it when Lyle goes out drinking instead of coming home after work. Charlie knows how I feel, yet he continues to invite Lyle over. I suspect Charlie is trying to cause problems -- and it's working -- for the simple reason that Lyle isn't smart enough to say no.
Last night, Lyle went to Charlie's to "throw back a few." When he came home, we had a big fight and he said some very hurtful things to me. Then he stormed off in his truck. We haven't spoken since.
I am at the point where I want to tell Lyle that he needs to choose: me or my ex! What should I do? -- SICK OF IT IN THE NORTHEAST
DEAR SICK OF IT: Although it's tempting, I'd recommend against giving your husband an ultimatum. If you do, it could be the end of your marriage. However, if you think this is history repeating itself, it might be time for you to rethink this recent marriage.
It's interesting that both of your husbands have made it a habit to drink after work. Since it is having a negative impact on your present marriage, perhaps it's time for you to contact Al-Anon so that Lyle's problem does not become your problem.