DEAR ABBY: "Concerned Mother" wrote that she wants to move because her neighbor, "the Wicked Witch of the West," likes her dogs better than "Concerned Mother's" children. ("She ignores the innocent greetings of our children, which hurts their feelings. ... I worry what a person so filled with anger may be capable of.")
May I politely suggest that not everyone wants other people's children bothering them? I realize that "Mother" believes her children are the salt of the earth and her world revolves around them. However, I'm a middle-aged, childless single woman who works hard all day juggling two difficult jobs. The last thing I want to deal with when I get home is someone else's children. In the last place I lived, my next-door neighbors sent their kids into the hallway at night to play cricket and couldn't understand why that bothered me!
Your suggestion that "Mother" instruct her children to leave the neighbor woman alone is a good one. However, advising her to add that there is something wrong with the woman ("explain that the neighbor is troubled and unhappy") fosters bad manners. It should make no difference to the kiddies why they are to leave that woman alone. It should be enough for them to understand that the neighbor doesn't wish to be bothered. The sooner they learn that not everyone thinks they "hung the moon," the happier they will be. -- KATE IN TORONTO
DEAR KATE: The parents of the cricket-playing kids in your hallway were responsible for the racket -- not the youngsters. The little ones were just doing as they were told. I'm printing your letter because it's true that not all adults relate well to children. (W.C. Fields was an example of that.) However, it's safe to say that most adults do. But sometimes even the kindest and happiest people don't like to be disturbed.