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by Abigail Van Buren

Girl's Troubled Past Makes Friend Fear for Her Future

DEAR ABBY: Over the holidays, my stepdaughter told her father and me that she is being married again and to save the second weekend in May. Shortly after, we received a formal invitation in the mail. About three weeks ago, my husband's ex-wife called to give us a list of what she had spent on the wedding and to request "our share" of the cost -- to the tune of $3,000.

This will be the second marriage for both the bride and groom, who are in their mid-30s. They live together in the home they own and have a successful business. By all accounts, they're doing very well.

Since my husband and I are not part of the wedding party (he was not asked to walk his daughter down the aisle) and we had no part in the wedding plans, I feel that whatever "Mom" wishes to spend is up to her, but we owe nothing more than what we originally promised to give the newlyweds.

Are we off base here? -- PUT OFF IN WINSTON-SALEM, N.C.

DEAR PUT OFF: Certainly not. Since this is a second wedding, and the bride and her fiance are well-established, and since you were not consulted or even asked to be a part of the ceremony, I see no reason why you should pay more than you have already promised.