DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old single mother of an 11-year-old boy. After a year of dating, we moved in with my fiance, "Gary," two months ago. It's been a huge transition, and my son and our cat have adjusted beautifully. However, I have not.
Last night, Gary and I talked at length about the possibility that I wasn't "ready" for this move after all. His response was that if I moved out, our relationship would be over.
I love Gary and don't want to lose him, but all my life I've needed to do things on my own. I don't know if I can ever be truly happy living with a man. Before my son and I moved in with Gary, I missed him terribly every minute we were apart. I now realize how much I miss my space and having my own place. Am I being selfish? Will I ever be happy cohabitating? -- CONFUSED IN VERMONT
DEAR CONFUSED: Needing independence is not selfish, and for your fiance to give an ultimatum is controlling. Listen to your gut -– it's giving you an important message. Leaving Gary may be traumatic for your son. Please be sure he has all the emotional support he needs.