DEAR ABBY: I'm kinda involved with this guy at work. He's my boss and he's really hot. "Rod" and I started sleeping together almost a year ago, and he's told me all along that he cares a lot for me. My problem is he says he can't "be" with me, because he can't give me what I deserve emotionally -- he can only fulfill my physical needs.
So, in my head I'm saying, "OK, that's better than nothing." Rod bought me a car and has been generous in the money department. But a couple of months ago, he started seeing this other girl. I refer to her as the "Sexless Unwilling Virgin."
Rod says he loves her, but he still wants to sleep with me. I don't understand why he doesn't love me, and I can't figure out why he's never taken me out on a real date. Lately he only stays overnight when he doesn't have anything else to do.
I know he cares for me, and that we have a history he doesn't have with the "S.U.V." Should I keep sticking it out? I can't stop hoping that one day we'll end up being a real couple. Rod means the world to me. I'd do almost anything for him. What do you think? -- IN LOVE WITH THE HOT ROD
DEAR IN LOVE: Idle your motor. The man you have described appears to be fulfilling your material and physical needs -- but not your emotional ones. It's up to you to decide how long you can live with two out of three. I hope you'll soon wake up to the fact that you are being used, and that it will spur you to find a man who truly loves you and is willing to make a commitment.