DEAR ABBY: Just before Christmas, I found evidence on our computer that my husband was cheating. New proof continues to appear, though less frequently.
I am financially dependent on my spouse, physically unable to work, and my elderly mother lives with us. She is completely dependent on me for her care. Financially, I cannot afford to leave or ask my husband to leave. I'm afraid to let on that I know about his infidelity, but don't know how much longer I can keep silent. The hurt and anger are eating me alive. What should I do? -- HUMILIATED IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS
DEAR HUMILIATED: The stress of caring for your mother may have affected both you and your husband. If you continue to suffer in silence, it's only a matter of time until you explode -- which would be counterproductive. Tell your husband calmly that you know what's been going on. Explain that you would like the both of you to get marriage counseling to heal the breach that has developed in your relationship. Marriages can be saved after an infidelity if both parties are willing to work on it.