DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Ray" for nine years. We have three children under 7. For a couple of years, I have noticed money missing from our bank account. Each time I asked Ray about it, he'd always have an excuse, saying, "I bought tools," etc.
A week ago, I noticed an unusually large withdrawal. When I confronted my husband, he finally told me the truth. Ray confessed that he's been going to massage parlors and prostitutes for the last two years -- and he is an admitted sex addict. Abby, I am devastated. His confession rocked my world.
I ordered Ray to get out. Now, one week later, I have been to counseling and he has agreed to go. What I am asking is this: Have you ever heard of "sex addiction," and can it be cured? I love my husband and want to give this marriage a chance, but I'm terrified he will stray again. -- NO NAME, CITY OR STATE
DEAR NO NAME: I have known about sex addiction for decades, when a member of Sexaholics Anonymous came to my office with literature about the problem. The organization is well established and has chapters all across the United States -- and in 16 countries -- and its program is based on the AA 12-step model. It works for people who are truly motivated.
For more information about Sexaholics Anonymous, write: S.A., P.O. Box 111910, Nashville, Tenn. 37222-1910, or call: 615-331-6230. The Web site is www.sa.org, and the e-mail address is: saico(at)sa.org.
P.S.: If you haven't already done so, see your physician about being screened for sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).