DEAR ABBY: My husband and I invited an acquaintance -- I'll call her June -- to our housewarming party. As I was showing her the bedroom, June asked to see an opal ring that she noticed me wearing on the day we met. I opened my jewelry box and watched as she tried it on.
Just then, the doorbell rang and I rushed to answer it. With all the goings-on of the party, I completely forgot about June and the opal ring until she said her goodbyes. June laughingly told me the ring had gotten stuck on her finger and she couldn't get the "darn thing" off. Then she was gone.
That was two months ago. June moved out of town and left no forwarding address. My husband and I couldn't locate her. The ring belonged to my husband's late grandmother and was a gift to me on our wedding day. My husband's mother and sister are furious with me for allowing June to walk off with an heirloom. They have been pressing me to track her down and take her to court.
I continued to search for her with no luck until last week, when June called and said she was in town and would like to drop by. She never showed up. I'm beginning to wonder if she will ever return my ring. I want to avoid conflict and am trying to think of a way to get it back without having to go to court. Can you help me, Abby? -- MISSING MY OPAL IN COLORADO
DEAR MISSING: Pick up the phone, tell the police what happened, and file a theft report. It appears that June has sticky fingers in more ways than one, and depending on the value of the ring, has committed grand theft.
Please don't wait. Sometimes conflict is unavoidable, and in this case, you have every right to scream, "I wuz robbed." Good luck.
DEAR ABBY: I have been going with "Jeremy" for five years. He's 28, I'm 25. We love each other dearly. We've talked seriously about getting married and having children. The problem is he's asked me twice to marry him --- only to take his proposals back.
The first time, we set a date and started making wedding plans. When Jeremy changed his mind, I asked if it had anything to do with me. He said no --- that he loves me and can't picture a life without me --- but he was scared.
Now when the subject of marriage comes up and we talk about a wedding and future together, Jeremy makes remarks like, "Yes, if we make it that long." Then he starts naming all the people we know who have gotten divorced. I blame Jeremy's mother for his attitude. She's been married and divorced five times. (Her most recent marriage lasted less than a year.)
I want to spend my life with Jeremy more than anything in the world, but his negative outlook on marriage worries me. I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to resent him for it. Should I break it off or stay? -- UNSURE IN INDIANA
DEAR UNSURE: Before this mating dance goes any further, you and Jeremy should get premarital counseling. It's an understatement to say that he has poor role modeling when it comes to marriage and what it entails. Counseling will give him the chance to express all his fears in a supportive setting. Without it, I see no future in this on-again, off-again romance.
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