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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Max," and I have been married for 12 years and have two precious children. We trust each other 100 percent. Our problem is we're friendly with a couple who have a 15-year-old girl, "Tina." Every time we go there, Tina throws herself at my husband.

The girl wears skimpy clothes, touches Max, makes suggestive remarks, and appears to really have "a thing" for him. He has told her repeatedly that he's not interested and that she's "just a kid," but she hasn't taken the hint to back off.

We've talked to her parents. They say we're reading too much into their daughter's behavior. My husband and I have argued over this, and it's putting pressure on our marriage. I don't want to give up our friends, but I also don't want my marriage to be wrecked by that little slut.

I know Max would never try anything with Tina, but she's the kind who might blame a man if she doesn't get what she wants. How can we get her to cool off? -- MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

DEAR MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS: Put as much distance as you can between yourselves and this couple -- or see them only away from their home. If Tina is capable of lying if she doesn't get her way, she's trouble. The smartest thing your husband could do is avoid her.

DEAR ABBY: I am unemployed and looking for work. Unfortunately, my field is shrinking. There is little opportunity for jobs in the future. I am considering returning to school and majoring in health care. It's something that has always interested me -- and it's a growing field.

My problem? My fiancee, "Phoebe," is dead set against me changing careers. She says it's not possible to go to graduate school and maintain a relationship. I find her attitude to be hypocritical since she has an advanced degree and a lucrative income.

I love Phoebe, but I'm tired of being poor and having no job prospects. I don't want to lose her; however, I am frustrated. I've tried talking to her. She won't discuss it and has given me an ultimatum: school or her. What do you think? -- JOB CHANGE IN VERMONT

DEAR JOB CHANGE: A woman who loves you should want what is best for you. Remaining in a field that is being phased out would leave you financially vulnerable. I urge you to return to school and safeguard your future. It appears Phoebe does not value your happiness, or she would have your best interests at heart.

DEAR ABBY: Our 15-year-old son, "Brian," just started dating a 14-year-old girl I'll call Jenny. They are both good kids. The problem is they have no hesitation about kissing in front of us or anyone else. They also snuggle on our couch whenever they can. Last night, they began kissing in the back seat of our car while my husband and I sat in the front. It was as though we weren't even there.

We feel Brian and Jenny are becoming too intimate too fast, and we're worried their hormones will supersede their better judgment. Fortunately, we have a very open relationship with Brian, but we don't know what to say to him about this. Any suggestions? -- TOO YOUNG TO BE GRANDPARENTS

DEAR TOO YOUNG: You bet. Get to know Jenny's parents and express your concerns to them. Both teens need to be involved in activities other than each other. Your son -- and Jenny -- also need to know everything there is to know about human reproduction and its prevention. (There are many books on the subject.) Do not depend on schools to perform this parental responsibility for you. Many schools now teach the students nothing beyond abstinence.

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