DEAR ABBY: For the past nine months, I have been secretly married to a man of whom my family does not approve. I have been able to keep them in the dark because I am a student and live in another state. I'm 33 years old, Abby, and, knowing the problems it will cause, I need some tips on how to tell my family. Help! -- NOT A CHILD IN ILLINOIS
DEAR NOT A CHILD: I agree that at 33, you are not a child; you are an adult who has made an important decision. While it would be nice if your family approved of your choice of life partners, one of the basic premises of marriage is that you are forming a family unit of your own. Call your parents and relatives and share the "good news" with them. How they react will be their problem. Please don't continue to make it yours.