DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Harvey," and I became engaged over the holidays. We are beginning to plan our wedding. Harvey was raised Jewish. I was raised Catholic. We envisioned a ceremony with both a priest and a rabbi.
However, Harvey's parents have informed us that they will not attend if a priest is present. One solution might be to be married by a justice of the peace, but my parents want a "man of God" to preside.
Harvey and I are willing to do whatever it takes to please our parents, but we are having a difficult time reaching a compromise. Also, my parents are paying for the entire wedding, so I'm not sure if that gives them more "say" in the matter or not. Please help. -- MARRIAGE BOUND AND IN A BIND
DEAR MARRIAGE BOUND: Before you and Harvey make any more plans, it might be helpful for both sets of parents to get together socially. If there is no "meeting of the minds," I urge you and your fiance to get premarital counseling –- preferably from a nondenominational counselor. The problems you have encountered with Harvey's parents are just the beginning. You and he must come to a clear understanding now about how your children will be raised. If it's anything other than Jewish, I see major family problems and conflicts ahead for you because of his parents' stance.