DEAR ABBY: While driving home from school with my 13-year-old daughter and her best friend, "Cammy," in the car, Cammy suddenly burst into tears and said, "I feel like killing myself."
The minute we got home I held separate, private conversations with my daughter and her friend. It seems Cammy fells neglected by her parents (they are divorced with shared custody), and she's upset because they both abuse alcohol. Cammy said she has tried to talk to her mom and dad about her feelings, but they "just yell at her."
Abby, I know this family very well. I find it hard to believe that things are as bad as Cammy says. However, a child crying out -– either for help or attention –- deserves both. How should I handle this? -- CONCERNED IN SOUTHERN ILLINOIS
DEAR CONCERNED: Let Cammy know she is always welcome to come to you at any time. Then, in a nonaccusatory way, let her parents know that Cammy is seriously depressed, and needs them now more than ever.
The face that a family presents publicly can be very different from the dynamics going on in private. Whether or not they drink too much, Cammy is feeling emotionally isolated, and that can be considered a form of child abuse.
Alateen might be helpful for her. It's a 12-step fellowship of young people whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. It can be contacted by writing: Al-Anon Family Groups, 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617. The toll-free number is (888) 425-2666. The Web site is www.al-anon.alateen.org.