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DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "John" for 11 years. We have four beautiful children. John earns enough money so I can be a stay-at-home mom to our little ones.

My problem is, John's sexual appetite is insatiable. It's driving me crazy. He demands sex twice a day and more often on weekends. If I tell him I'm tired or stressed, he threatens to find a girlfriend or a hooker. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Please help me. -- SEX SLAVE IN WICHITA

DEAR SEX SLAVE: With four children under the age of 10, it's no wonder you're feeling tired and stressed. Has your husband always been this way? If this is new behavior, he may need to be physically and neurologically evaluated by a physician. If it is not new behavior, then I hope you realize your problem isn't about sex as much as it is about dominance. Your husband is using sex as a bludgeon to keep you in line and show you who's boss.

Marriage is supposed to be a union, a partnership. Marriage counseling could help you both bring your real issues out into the open and improve the level of communication between you. If John refuses, go without him so you can learn assertiveness skills. If you continue to tolerate the status quo, well, your signature says it all.

DEAR ABBY: Recently I began a wonderful relationship with "Arnie," the man of my dreams.

My problem is, he is hiding our relationship from certain members of his family. He told his youngest daughter about me, and she likes me so much she calls me Mom.

Arnie and his daughter tell me to remain silent when other family members call on the phone. If one of them comes to the door, they tell me to hide in another room.

Should I be concerned about this? Or should I let Arnie decide when it's time to tell the rest of his family? -- STRESSED-OUT IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR STRESSED-OUT: Something is not kosher here. Could Arnie be ashamed of you? Could he still be married? By all means, you should be concerned. If you continue to tolerate this behavior, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother with an 11-year-old daughter. We live in a small two-bedroom apartment.

My sister, her husband and their three kids moved in with us from out of state because they didn't like it where they were. When they arrived, my sister said they would only stay for two weeks. That was three months ago.

In addition, they are broke. My brother-in-law lost his job and is not looking for another one. I work but make just enough for my daughter and me.

They're costing me a fortune. My electricity bill has doubled, plus there is no privacy. Please help! -- DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

DEAR DAMSEL: You've been a supportive sister. Now it's time to draw the line. Set a date for them to move out and stick to it. Enough is enough.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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