What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Barking Dog Meets Its Match in Broadcast of 'Jingle Bells' Dear Abby: Oh, What a Wonderful Time of Year! The Air Is Filled With Christmas Songs From "White Christmas" by Bing Crosby to "Jingle Bells" by The Barking Dogs.
In my neighborhood, we've had a problem with one neighbor's dog barking all night. Several of us tried to ask the owner to please do something about it. Our pleas fell on deaf ears.
We tolerated it until recently. After hearing "Jingle Bells" by the Barking Dogs, four of us neighbors had an idea.
During our weekly card game, I made the comment, "If I had an outside sound system, I'd play the Barking Dogs' 'Jingle Bells' each night when the dog barks." I was making a joke, but my card buddies took me up on it. "Rick" has outdoor speakers, "Barney" has an old PA system, "Art" volunteered to set it up, and I was to get the record or tape of "Jingle Bells."
Three days later, everything was set up and ready. When the dog started its barking around 1 a.m., I reached over, turned on the PA system and played "Jingle Bells." The dog shut up! Two hours later, the barking resumed. Again I turned on the PA system. I know my neighbors were rolling over laughing as much as I was.
The next day, I took my daily jog around the neighborhood. The dog owner was outside and I stopped to say hello. He asked me if I had heard the dogs barking "Jingle Bells." I told him, yes, and I was happy to hear them do it in harmony. Then I added, "I wonder if they'll keep it up during the year -- say, New Year's and Easter." He said, "I hope not!"
Needless to say, it took only two more nights before he got the message. Yesterday, when I stopped by his place, he told me he had found a better home for his dog, with a loving child to play with.
Our poker game has the record of the Barking Dogs framed on the wall to remind us of the miracles of Christmas. Woof, woof -- and a Merry Christmas to you and yours. -- SANTA'S HELPERS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SANTA'S HELPERS: Ho! Ho! Ho! I particularly like the fact that there is a happy ending for all concerned, including the dog -- and I'll bet your letter stimulates record sales.
P.S. Now that the neighborhood is quiet again, why not send the former dog owner a CD of "Silent Night"?
DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Claudine," and I have been married for 25 years, and two of our four children still live at home with us. In the past, Claudine has complained to me that I am not very romantic. She said that romance needs to start way before we close the bedroom door. In the last year, she has stopped saying anything about this to me, but our love life has been affected.
I hold Claudine's hand when we go places and I always kiss her before I leave for work. What more can I do to get her interested in me again? -- WANTS MORE IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.
DEAR WANTS: There is more to romance than holding a woman's hand when you go places and kissing her when you leave for work.
Try this: Compliment her on her appearance. Thank her when she does something special for you. Call her just to say "I love you." Take her to a hotel or motel for the weekend so you can be alone. Buy her a little gift or send flowers "because she's the most beautiful woman in the world." And if that doesn't do it -- have her hormones checked.
DEAR ABBY: I have been hopelessly in love with the father of my baby, "Alan," for three years. I know Alan loves me even though he can't commit. I am also very close to his parents.
I have reached the point where I accept that it's time for me to move on, even though I would prefer to spend the rest of my life with him.
The problem is, Alan's parents think of me as family. They are very religious. I know they must have picked up on some of the friction that's happening between us. They keep saying that things will work out if we just stay in prayer.
I desperately want to have a heart-to-heart talk with Alan's mom so she understands that it's no one's fault and there should be no hard feelings.
How can I explain without hurting them that maybe it's best for everyone if I don't come around during family gatherings? Please help. -- CONFUSED AND IN LOVE IN TEXAS
DEAR CONFUSED: I, too, believe in the power of prayer, but in your case it's time to move on. Do not allow yourself to be made to feel guilty and accept the status quo.
Have the heart-to-heart talk with Alan's mother. Say sweetly but directly, "I love you and I love your son. You will always be this child's grandparents. But I need a husband who will help me to raise your grandchild, and Alan is unable to commit."
DEAR ABBY: I'm a 27-year-old guy, and I'm involved with an older woman I'll call Carmen.
Carmen has three daughters from previous relationships. I have no authority over them, and they show me no respect. Even though they talk rudely to me, I'm supposed to accept it. Carmen demands everything be done her way, and I have no voice in anything that happens in my home.
Carmen's youngest daughter, "Talia," recently got a kitten. We agreed it would not be kept in the house because I am allergic to cats. I make my living as a singer, and if I can't breathe, I can't earn money to support us. I've explained this to all the girls, but no one seems to care as long as they get what they want. Talia whines, and the cat is inside. What should I do? -- DESPERATE IN INDIANA
DEAR DESPERATE: If the house belongs to you, lay down the law. The cat goes, or they all go. If the house belongs to Carmen, read the handwriting on the wall of "your" home, and make other living arrangements pronto. Your health and your career depend on it.
DEAR ABBY: I broke my engagement to my fiancee, "Shirley," recently. I am sad, but I know it's better to have ended it now, rather than have a divorce down the road.
The engagement ring and wedding bands are back in my possession, and I would like to "dispose" of them because they are painful reminders of our failed relationship. How can I salvage some of my investment? It is no longer possible to return them to the jeweler, and a pawn shop will never give me their full value. Any suggestions? -- TRYING TO MOVE ON IN CHICAGO
DEAR TRYING TO MOVE ON: Have the rings appraised. Get the appraisal in writing. Take it to your accountant and discuss donating them to a charity. You may take a loss, but consider it "tuition" in the school of experience.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
CLUES POINT TO HUSBAND'S ADDICTION TO ILLEGAL DRUGS
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married almost three years. Like every marriage, we've had our ups and downs. My husband constantly accuses me of having an affair. I've never given him any reason not to trust me, nor have I been with anybody else since we married.
He constantly asks, "Where did you go? Who did you go with? What time did you go? How long were you there?" I stay home all day so he won't give me the third degree.
On Fridays when he gets paid, he picks a fight so he can leave. He doesn't return until Sunday, and then half his cash is gone. During the week, he stays up until the wee hours of the morning, even though he has to get up at 5 a.m. for work.
Also, I have found pieces of burnt foil in his belongings, along with a straw. Once I even found drugs.
I pack my husband a good lunch every day. I'm loving and have his dinner ready when he comes home. I don't go anywhere or do anything. Please help me. I don't know what else to do. -- PRISONER IN SALINAS
DEAR PRISONER: You are either married to the Energizer Bunny, or your husband is using some kind of stimulant. The fact that you found drug paraphernalia is your first clue. The disappearing act he pulls every payday should be another. Among the side effects of stimulants are a short temper and paranoia. Your husband exhibits both behaviors.
Please understand that what is wrong in your marriage has nothing to do with you. If you love your husband, give him an ultimatum: Get off the drugs and get into a rehabilitation program, or his marriage to you is over. (Your doctor can give you a referral for rehab.) For your own mental health, you must be prepared to follow through.
DEAR ABBY: I am writing because my 12-year-old daughter, "Dorothy," is pregnant for the second time. Due to our religion, we do not believe in birth control or abortion. We kept the first baby, but we're afraid if we keep the second, Dorothy will continue to have premarital sex. Should we abort this one or let her have this baby, too? Please reply soon. -- CONCERNED PARENT IN TEXAS
DEAR CONCERNED: Whether your 12-year-old daughter should carry her second child to term is not a decision I can, or should, make for you. Because of her tender age, there could be medical risks involved. Take your cues from her OB/GYN.
It should be clear by now that your daughter is, and will continue to be, sexually active. Unless you intend to keep her under lock and key, she MUST be educated about sexually transmitted diseases and birth control. Since you consider using birth control a sin, please consider that it's a bigger sin to bring children into this world if you cannot educate and support them emotionally and financially.
P.S. You haven't mentioned how old the father(s) of these babies are. If they are more than four years older than Dorothy, she could be a victim of statutory rape, and you should notify the police.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)