DEAR ABBY: My husband took his own life nearly 30 years ago. I have been in individual and group therapy for 20 years and in 12-step recovery for 15. Not surprisingly, my problems affected my kids when they were young.
They both live far away now. My daughter, "Margie," is in therapy and recovery. My son is in denial.
Five years ago, Margie asked her brother and me not to contact her for a while. She said she needed time and space to work on specific issues independently. I have friends who have done this with good long-term results, so it made sense to me.
Recently a few friends have urged me to write Margie and tell her I miss her. Others, including my AA friends, praise my respect for her process and say they wish they had received similar support from their families.
I regard contacting her as disrespectful, if not abusive. The door is not closed. Margie said she would resume contact when she is ready.
What do you think? -- WILLING TO QUESTION
DEAR WILLING: Since you're gathering advice, I'll put in my 2 cents' worth. Five years of silence is enough. Write Margie and tell her that while you respect her "process," you miss her. If she ignores your letter, it's her prerogative. At least you will have made the gesture of trying to bridge the gap, and that is what is important.