DEAR ABBY: My friend "Delia" died recently, causing a lot of people to be very upset. Surprisingly, her death hasn't affected me at all. Friends have called, sobbing hysterically. I haven't shed a tear. Could it be because I refuse to believe it? Or that I don't really care? Please help me. I am confused. -- SCARED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SCARED: Losing a friend is traumatic, and people react to trauma in different ways. I seriously doubt that your friend's death has "not affected you at all." More likely, you're numb.
Grief is an individual process. Some people cry. Others carry around a load of anxiety or ache inside. Still others "postpone" the grieving until they can handle it. Please don't judge yourself harshly. Everyone grieves in his or her own way.