DEAR ABBY: I recently learned that my husband of four years, "John," is talking with another woman on his cell phone at work. She constantly leaves him voicemail messages, telling him about her day and how she misses him. (One in particular keeps going through my mind: "Baby, it's me! It's a few minutes before 10 and you're not answering your cell phone. Maybe you're sleeping already, but I'll give you a call tomorrow on my lunch break.")
The next time she called, she heard my voice on his voicemail saying, "Sorry, my husband, John, is not available at this time. Please leave a message and someone will return your call as soon as possible." Can you believe that woman actually left another message, saying, "John, you need to take her voice off, because it's not you!"
I'm not dealing with this very well. My self-esteem is falling, and my husband refuses to address the problem. I don't know what to do. I can't seek help, because I don't have any money of my own. -- NEEDS AN ANSWER IN MIAMI
DEAR NEEDS AN ANSWER: Here's a message in MY voice. Something is missing here. What's missing is a husband who is contrite and wants to save his marriage. Stop being a victim. Talk to a lawyer, and when the lawyer mentions payment, give him (or her) your husband's credit card number.