DEAR ABBY: I am 57 years old with grown children. Twelve years ago, I moved closer to my parents so I could care for them. After Dad died in '97, Mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I took care of her in my home for a while, but when her needs increased to 24/7, I could no longer handle it. Fortunately, I found her a nice nursing home, and I visit her often. I host cookie parties for all the residents and take Mother out for weekly rides and ice cream. She is no longer able to speak, and I am not sure she still knows me.
This Christmas, my husband wants to take me to Arizona for a family vacation. He says Mother won't know the difference. Abby, I feel so guilty leaving her. Should I go? -- DEVOTED DAUGHTER IN MISSOURI
DEAR DEVOTED: Yes, you should go. Have an early Christmas party with your mother and the other residents before you leave for Arizona. The timing won't matter to them. Please, do not feel guilty. Your signature says it all.