DEAR ABBY: When my husband gets out of the military, we will be deciding where to live. We want to live near my parents, but how close is too close?
The house next door is for sale. We don't have kids yet, but I keep imagining how wonderful it would be to have their grandparents next door. My mom and I have always been close; however, I don't want to move next door if it will hurt our relationship in the long run. If we set boundaries up front, could it work? -- CAUTIOUS WIFE AND DAUGHTER
DEAR CAUTIOUS: It all depends on the individuals involved. In some families, the kind of situation you have described works well. In others, it leads to chaos and unhappiness. Much depends upon whether your husband wants to be your parents' "extended family" and on how well your parents respect boundaries.
In your case, no decisions should be made until your husband has completed his tour of duty and you have discussed this matter thoroughly and honestly.