DEAR ABBY: I am an only child. Four years ago, when I was 19, I lost my father to cancer. Recently I was sorting through some of Dad's papers and found an old will. It said something to the effect that "I, Michael, am the father of Sarah and Anne, both from a previous marriage. When I refer to 'my daughter,' in the remainder of the will, I am speaking only of 'Kelly.'" (That's me.) I was floored. I have two older half-sisters I was never told about! Growing up, I hated being an only child and begged my parents to have more children.
I do not believe my father was a "deadbeat dad," because he always spoke harshly about individuals who didn't pay child support. He traveled the world in the military and lived in many countries and states before he met my mother.
Abby, I am afraid to confront my mother. I know I shouldn't have snooped through my father's old papers, but I feel I had the right to know I have two half-siblings. What do I do now? -- NOT MY FATHER'S ONLY PRECIOUS GIRL
DEAR NOT: If you want answers, tell your mother what you found. You are an adult now, and you have a right to know the truth. What you choose to do with that information is up to you.
DEAR ABBY: I recently graduated from college. My senior year was spent in a house I was renting with six girls I knew from high school. Earlier in the year, my roommates talked me into throwing a party. A lot of people showed up that we didn't know, and the party escalated into violence. A window was smashed, a door was broken, and a friend of ours was punched in the face. After that, I told my roommates I wanted no more parties in our home.
Last week, I went out of town to be with my sister while she had surgery. I heard from a mutual friend that while I was gone, my roommates threw a party and had agreed not to tell me. I am hurt and angry that they hid this from me.
My friend told me to "get over it," that I was outnumbered, and that it wasn't fair for me to tell them they couldn't have a party. Should I confront my roommates about their deception or move on? -- FRUSTRATED IN COLORADO
DEAR FRUSTRATED: I see no reason for confrontation. You are all adults. If you feel their parties are too wild for your taste, instead of moving on, move OUT.
DEAR ABBY: I am a preteen girl with an adult brother who sexually assaults me. One day I finally worked up the guts to tell my mom, but she just told me not to be in the same room with him. Abby, this is impossible because he lives in our house. What can I do that won't cause me to end up in a foster home? -- CLUELESS LITTLE GIRL IN MINNEAPOLIS
DEAR CLUELESS: Please talk about this to a trusted teacher at school. That your mother is unwilling to protect you is shocking. It does not necessarily follow that if you tell, you will have to go to foster care. There is a strong likelihood that your brother will be removed from the home.
Please understand that none of this is your fault. What your brother is doing to you is a crime. He must be stopped.
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