DEAR ABBY: I became engaged a week ago to "Max," who happens to be a millionaire. I come from an average working-class background and have worked since I was 18. I am now 49. Max is a wonderful and loving man. We live in a beautiful home with a housekeeper and gardener. Max wants me to be a stay-at-home spouse and take care of our social and travel arrangements, etc.
Most of my friends are envious, and yes, it IS wonderful not having to work. However, I feel like I have become a kept woman. This is all so new to me. I have been independent most of my life and I am having difficulty adjusting to this new lifestyle. I feel scared that my life is in someone else's hands, not my own.
What can I do to maintain a sense of independence and still feel that my new "wifely duties" are important -- and that I will be valued as an equal partner with my husband? -- MARRYING A MILLIONAIRE
DEAR M.A.M.: Feeling nervous about losing your independence is understandable. Lifestyle change, even if it is positive, can be stressful.
Since your husband would prefer that you not work, please consider becoming a part-time volunteer instead. That way you can still contribute, but you will be freer to accompany your husband on trips. Volunteerism is a richly rewarding experience and can lead to new contacts in your community. However, you would be wise to discuss this before your marriage so there are no surprises for you or your fiance once the knot is tied.